Tears of Frustration

I think I have gotten over it now. At least I will try to talk about it. I feel a bit calmer about the whole thing at least.. Although I guess the true test will come this weekend when I get to see if I really have overcome it..

I had one of my worst ever surf experiences last weekend. And it wasn’t even just ONE day, it was BOTH days! The whole weekend!! I couldn’t catch the stupid waves, they just trashed me around, they tried to drown me and if that didn’t work they just tried to abuse me.. And the worse part of it, I was just scared of them, even if it was one of the nicest and easiest days that we have experienced during our whole time here! Argh. I was so pissed off at myself, the waves, the board, the waves.. Actually at everything and anything that came into my way.

I learned an interesting fact about myself though, I have not managed to get rid of my animal instinct of showing anger and aggression when threatened or scared.. So unfortunately I snapped at J as well whenever he was in ear shot (at least it feels like that..) And I have not cried that much out of frustration since I was studying Econometrics at Uni..

J says its natural to have days like that.. He says he went through it as well.. Looking at how good he is on a board, I slightly doubt that.. But I guess he might be right. I am just slightly pissed off for having had to have a day like that on what should have been one of the best days for surfing for me as a beginner. Argh.

Well, better luck this weekend I guess. If I manage to overcome this annoying fear of the waves habit I have picked up… I managed to get over my frustration about Econometrics, but that was mainly since I didn’t have to do any more of it after third year at Uni.. I don’t really want Surfing to go down that route though!

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